Dear B’nai Shalom members, friends, and families:

Regarding the article I wrote for the LAST bulletin and also pertaining to THIS bulletin article, I want to make clear that at no time and in no way am I referring to any one person or intending to be singling out any one person in particular.  I view my role in B’nai Shalom as teacher, which is the true meaning of what a rabbi is supposed to be.  At any time when I offer instruction or take advantage of a “teachable” moment or opportunity, it is always my ongoing desire and objective to teach, instruct, direct, and clarify.  I apologize if anyone feels that I am referring directly to them or if, by my comments, I make people feel conspicuous, embarrassed, or singled out.  That is not my intention and never has been. I hope and trust that my points of instruction will be accepted in the manner in which I offer them.  I intend to teach, instruct, direct, and clarify exclusively.

In this spirit, I turn my attention to a common practice by which congregation members touch the Torah, as it is passing by, with their siddurim (prayerbooks).  Many people have the incorrect notion that they should not touch the Torah directly with their hands.  While this is true concerning the actual parchment of the Torah (which is why the Torah reader uses the “Yad”, the pointer, instead of actually touching the parchment itself), this prohibition does not apply to people touching the Torah when the Torah is fully “dressed” with its cover on and in place.  The only time a person should abstain from touching the Torah (and this would be true of any of the “Klei Kodesh”, holy ritual items) would be if the person is, at that moment, ritually unclean.  This would occur if one has scratched his/her head, has touched one’s shoes, had touched an animal, or if one has touched something that is PHYSICALLY dirty.  In this situation, one would need to rinse one’s fingers with water, (with no blessing necessary) before touching or handling any item that is Kodesh (holy).  There is a belief that one should touch the passing Torah with one’s prayer book to avoid touching the Torah with one’s hand.  Not only is it alright to touch the covered Torah with one’s hand (if one is ritually appropriate for touching the Torah) but, in fact, using one’s prayer book is an “embarrassment” to the prayer book.  This is because the prayer book is being used as a vehicle or conduit to kiss and show respect to a DIFFERENT holy item, the Torah scroll.  The Siddur should not be relegated to an instrument of conveying holiness to a different holy item even if the recipient is the Sefer Torah.  While unintended, this is an inadvertent way of showing disrespect to the Siddur by relegating its holiness to being an instrument of conveyance.

There is also a much-overlooked halacha (Jewish law) concerning the public display of affection and love to our family members while in the sanctuary of the synagogue.  As the shul is considered to be a “Mikdash M’at”, a miniature version of the Holy Temple which stood in Jerusalem, our focus, actions, and full devotion — while in the main sanctuary — are meant to be directed exclusively to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, Almighty G-d, Hashem Himself.  That being the case, kissing, hugging, holding, and all forms of affection for our family members (while well intended and certainly understood for anywhere else BUT the shul’s sanctuary) is not appropriate.  All of this can, naturally, take place OUTSIDE the sanctuary.  If a family member NEEDS the reassurance or warmth of a tender touch at any time during the davening, it is best to go out into the hallway and do so THERE, avoiding doing so in the sanctuary itself.  It is also worth addressing the mistaken way many of us respond in the Kaddish with the word “amein”.  In all forms of Kaddish, the shaliach tzibbur (the chazzan) closes out each paragraph with the words: “…V’imru Amein”.  This literally means: “…and say Amein”, directing the congregation to say “amein”, thus indicating that everyone has agreed with the words of praise the chazzan has just chanted in tribute to Hashem.  Often, congregation members end up saying “amein” WITH the chazzan’s recitation of the word “amein”, which doesn’t make sense.  It is the chazzan TELLING us to respond “amein” and should result in the congregation waiting for the chazzan to tell us “V’imru Amein”, “…and say Amein” before we actually say “amein”.  I hope these points are clear and make our joint participation in the services more meaningful and more precise.

B’Kavod Rav,

Rabbi Dr. Yaacov Dvorin