Dear B’nai Shalom members, families, and friends:
At the suggestion of several attendees at my weekly shiur (class), I am including in this month’s article, points of interest and facts gleaned from a few of the most recent shiurim (classes that you might find interesting and instructive. Please enjoy:
The most joyous, celebrated lifecycle event found on the list of Jewish milestone events is the Jewish wedding.
Among the elements that are required for a proper, valid Jewish wedding are a solid gold wedding band, unadorned with any jewels, gems, or other enhancements. The ring should be observed by the M’sader Kedushin (the officiant conducting the wedding) well PRIOR to the wedding ceremony. The ring that will be placed on the right index finger of the bride by the groom during the ceremony DOES NOT need to be the same ring that the bride intends to wear on her ring finger for the rest of her life as a sign of her married status. The ring must be owned by the groom at the time of the wedding ceremony and must have been purchased legally EVEN IF, the purchase price of the ring is well below fair market price.
There must be two kosher witnesses (Eidei Kedushin) who are chosen to closely scrutinize the groom’s placing of the aforementioned ring on the bride’s right index finger. The witnesses must not be related to either the bride or the groom by blood or by marriage, and cannot be related to each other by either blood or by marriage. The witnesses cannot be atheists, heretics, people guilty of capital crimes, gamblers who make their living by professional gambling, and cannot be intoxicated at the time of the wedding ceremony when the witnesses are called upon to observe the prescribed placement of the ring on the bride’s finger.
A kosher, traditional Ketubah (marriage document) is also a mandatory component for bringing together a Jewish man with a Jewish woman in marriage. As with the ring, the Ketubah should be observed by the M’sader Kedushin (the officiant conducting the wedding) well PRIOR to the wedding ceremony to guard against inadvertent misspellings, omissions, and redundant words and phrases in the Ketubah and to ensure that the Ketubah is completely kosher in all aspects.
The requirements for the two kosher witnesses who are chosen to sign the Ketubah, are the same as the strict requirements of the witnesses who are chosen to observe the placement of the ring during the ceremony under the chupah (the wedding canopy).
At the other end of the lifecycle of the Jew, are the requirements for the saddest of the milestone events: a Jewish funeral. Required for a kosher, proper funeral and burial are tachrichim (burial shrouds), as opposed to the deceased being buried in clothing of any normal or usual type.
The deceased requires a proper tahara (ritual washing) performed by the modest, unheralded members of the Chevra Kadisha (the all volunteer members of the Sacred Society).
The deceased must be buried in an all-wood unadorned casket, preferably a simple, plain pine box, a clear and conspicuous sign of our humbleness and humility and the fact that, just as all of us enter this world the same way, we all exit the world in a common, modest way.
It is likely well known that final disposition of a Jewish person in a mausoleum is not permitted by halacha (Jewish law) and the notion of cremation of a Jew is flat out repugnant and rejected out of hand.
Clearly, there are many other halachot (Jewish laws), customs, and traditions that govern both of these lifecycle events, including varying styles and sub-categories of laws, but as a general introduction and a glimpse into the subject matter of a couple of our recent synagogue shiurim (classes), I am happy to present this overview here. For any questions or clarifications,
I welcome your inquiries.
With Torah blessings,
Rabbi Dr. Yaacov Dvorin